Living in a rural area has many advantages and, in turn, there are disadvantages. One of those disadvantages for me is dial-up internet. Being on dial-up these days is like driving a Model T Ford on a modern day racetrack. While everybody else is barreling down the "information superhighway" at 4G speed (what does that mean?), I'm still creeping along at 5 MPH!
Cruising the internet on my computer is just like watching a race in slow motion, too. And, it's complete with me sitting in front of my monitor, cheering the bytes along the phone line with things like, "Come on...Come on...You can do it!" I'm on the edge of my seat, anxiously waiting to see if the page can actually cross the finish line and appear on the screen. And, in my mind I'm imagining all these folks who've already seen the page, read it and clicked on to something else as being the other cars in the race, leaving Henry Ford in their dust.
Dial-up makes it next to impossible to view pages with lots of graphics, flash, social media plug-ins or Google Ads. So, if I find that I've clicked on one of those sorts of sites, I've learned to immediately close it out as there's no point in waiting for the page to load because it just may not. Waiting for these pages to load has lead to me continually talking to my computer monitor sometimes in a very animated way and including lots of expletives. For instance, the message, "Internet Explorer cannot display the web page," usually brings me to say things like, "What do you mean you 'can't'?! You'll display what I tell you to display!" At times, the really slow-loading pages will cause me to end up on a search page because my requested page couldn't be found. This leaves me screaming at my monitor, "I didn't send you to search for anything, just go where I click to go!" But, I suppose my click gets lost out there in Cyberspace and veers off in the wrong direction, dizzied by all the other clicks whirring by at 4 G speed!
Twitter is becoming a huge problem for me, especially this "New Twitter". I have to keep operating with "Old Twitter", as the new version absolutely will not work with my slow connection. "What do you mean by 'oops, something went wrong...try again later'?! The whole point of Twitter is that I can let folks know what's on my mind right now! There may not be anything on my mind later!!! Geez!" So, when old Twitter is not around any longer, it will be impossible for me to tweet at all. Once that bluebird has flown, I'll be left behind. No one will ever get to hear about how I drank too much coffee this morning or how I'm loving/hating the weather and other important things. And, I won't be able to keep up with those folks who regularly let me know that things are going bad in their refrigerator or that they got new haircuts. Plus, I won't get those great tweets about how I can increase traffic to my site FREE, for just $19.95!
Yep, Cyberspace is no place for a Model T these days. Pull over, Henry, I'll crank her up this time!
I so understand...!
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